Love triangles...


It's all so helpless. Florida has been besieged by another cold spell and I am miserable in the early morning 50 degree weather. I just can't stand it when my nose is cold.

On the up side, I've been getting a lot of compliments on my blog and it's even been inspiring more people to enter the blogosphere. That's good.

On the down side, I am worrying about unrequited love and beginning to realize how tragic it could be. What if this totally smart hillarious handsome thoughtful intriguing beautifully perfect guy I am smitten with is smitten with somebody else? I always thought unrequited love was just a joke--if someone doesn't love you back you get up and find another. Now I understand what Cyrano meant when he said love is like an eternal bell ringing in your head. I just can't seem to get this certain person out of my mind and I envy all of my married friends who know that they can kiss the person who they think is the greatest without worrying if that person will actually want to kiss them back. They don't have to worry about hearing "Thanks, I'm flattered, but I think of you as just a friend."

I hate dating. It's too freaking stressful. Being single is becoming more of a burden than a freedom--the love triangles, rejecting people who you are not interested in, defending yourself from perverts, coming up with creative excuses, planning your nights out so that you can see all the guys you are only mildly interested in without laying a claim to one over another, going out even when you don't really feel like it because you might meet someone special, seeing happy people smooching and being disgusted and then realizing that you miss that, meeting a guy who you really really like and then becoming shy for once in your life, losing confidence in all of your magnificent beautiful qualities and living in constant terror from fear of rejection, constantly weighing the virtues of friendship against the virtues of romance, wondering what would happen if you just grabbed his hand and kissed him like you want to do everytime you are around him.

Being so vulnerable.

Actually caring what someone thinks about you.


Yeah, I truly envy my married friends. They must lie together some nights and pity me while they gloat about how they have it so good:

Alexis: Poor Melissa. I talked to her today and she's been telling me about her love life. It's so hillarious listening to her exploits and misadventures. It makes me realize that I am so lucky to have you, baby. (Kiss). You rock my world. (Kiss).
Ryan: Yeah, Melissa really deserves a great guy. Her dating disasters are definitely entertaining. I remember when I was going through all that crap--I thought I would never meet anyone and then I met you. (Kiss). Now I never have to worry about it again. (Kiss.)



I envy my married friends. But I can still go out and party all night long without having to explain...
and I don't have to shave my legs if I don't feel like it
and I can eat whatever I feel like eating whenever I feel like it
and I can dance around the house like a goon singing into my karaoke machine at the top of my lungs
and nobody but me has to be embarrassed about riding in my messy car
and I can spend my money however I want to
and I can make plans at the very last minute without consulting anyone
and I can take up the whole bed and have as much or as little covers as I like and I always get the good pillows...


Who am I kidding? It doesn't even compare. Being single is starting to suck.