Rediscovering...


1. I have been doing some editing work for a woman as a trade for some life-coaching. Fun to rediscover myself and take a look at this exciting position that I am experiencing in my life right now. Feel as though I have come a long way from even two years ago...and so much to look forward to. This has been very refreshing for me.

2. Next step is to meet with a counselor from UF alumni services and set up some Myers-Briggs testing, etc, to help me make some decisions about how to plan my future.

3. ipod nano? Horse barn? New car? Ticket to Kiev to visit the orphanage? Trying to decide how to spend my new-found, hard-earned, extra money. I'm sure it will be gone soon, so I'd like to make a plan.

4. The Cousins mentioned that they will do just about any type of work I can think of in exchange for allowing them to stash (and play) a video game system at my house (their mother confiscated theirs). Since I need a new dvd player anyways, I just might take them up on this offer. $200 = unlimited babysitting for a year? unlimited yard work? unlimited house cleaning and laundry? This might be a sweet deal.

5. Had a chance to go out last night for the first time in a very long time. Met up with some old highschool friends and jammed to a rocking SPELLBOX show at The Shamrock. Didn't run into Issac's dad this time, but did meet some people who used to know him, and heard even MORE horror stories about what the nut job is up to these days.

6. Speaking of the nut job, I don't think I will be doing much speaking of him any more. If for some reason I feel compelled to talk about him, I will refer to him as "He Who Shall Not Be Named," (HWSNBN for short). But I have discovered that he has the most power over me when he reminds me that he actually still exists, usually by showing up on my doorstep after outrageously long absences, making outrageous demands about "his son." So, to decrease his power over me, I have decided to continue his long trend of absence, and to pretend like he doesn't exist. When he comes to my house and starts ranting and raving, I will just say to myself "Oh! Look! Here is a figment of my imagination. How silly of me to have gotten upset! One can't get upset by something that does not exist...".

I do think this will help.

He can't do anything to hurt me any more, because I won't let him. I've always been afraid of him, but I think I may be reaching the point where this changes. As I stand up for myself and Issac, he gets smaller and my fear diminishes. It feels delicious.

HWSNBN will be in court tomorrow to answer questions as to why he has not paid any child support in over two years. I have been waiting for this day for a very, very long time. I wonder what he could possibly say? "Um, I didn't feel like it?" or maybe "Uh, I'm a loaf without a job. I've been bumming off of others for the last three years, and I haven't found a way to convince them that they need to pay my child support as well. Give me a few more months, your honor, and I'm sure I can con someone into doing this for me."

7. One good thing that has happened to me in the past five years is that my taste in men has dramatically turned for the better. (It really couldn't have gotten worse).


8. Issac and I are going to the Medeival Faire today. Yeah! I don't have a costume to wear, but will probably stick a wreath in my hair. Issac could wear his robinhood outfit, if it still existed, but the felt and tights didn't last far past halloween. Issac woke up this morning jumping on the bed telling me "it's time to go to the fair!"
Something I said last night about the errant knights and swords and jousting and falconers and giant horses must have excited him.