Feminists hate men...Right?


WRONG. Feminists do not hate men. To be a feminist means to believe in the intelligence, dignity, capability, power, and worth of women. Nothing less, nothing more. I am mystified by the numbers of men and women I meet who think that feminism is a dirty word, a dirty thing. "Don't call me a feminist--I don't want men to hate me." It's true. Proudly proclaim yourself a feminist in a room full of people and watch men shirk away from you or roll their eyes or try to talk you out of it and watch women shift their hands and feet uncomfortably. They are thinking "What is wrong with that girl? She can vote, own property, run for president. Why is she complaining?" I am complaining. I am complaining and challenging. I am challenging people to believe in themselves. I am challenging people to believe in their sisters and their daughters and their mothers and their husbands and their sons and their brothers and the idea that each can honor the other in a beautiful way. When I call myself a Feminist, I am challenging you to believe that our similarities outweigh our differences. When I call myself a Feminist, I am challenging you to believe that a woman actually CAN be president because female presidents are (gasp) smart and capable like male presidents. When I call myself a Feminist, I am challenging you to agree that women are beautiful and serious and smart and capable, just as much as men. "Duh," people say. "We know that already...we see it everyday. Women are great. I love women. So what are you complaining about?" If you love women so much, why are you comfortable living in a world that constantly enforces the idea their is a "proper" role for a woman when there is no "proper" role for a man? If you love women, how can you be okay with the fact that this country has yet to elect a female president? That at the present rate, it will take 955 years for the congress to hold and equal amount of women as men? That the ERA did not pass? That women constantly risk rape and death by those who feel that women are crossing the boundaries? That too often women are not taken seriously? That men laugh at rape victims? That everyday hundreds of women are raped? That nine million women were burned at the stake? That women are sexually harassed? That almost every derisive word in the English language refers to a female? That women are afraid to call themselves feminists? That women are afraid to proclaim their worth and their right to hold positions of power and respect and authority and importance? That the rebuke for women is ten times as harsh as the rebuke for men?

Some women (I used to be one of them) don't believe me when I say that we live in a sexist world. "I'm treated alright," they say. Well, have more qualifications to be president than the twenty males and then run for president and see how you are treated. People will actually question your "femininity" as a potential weakness. It has happened to every female who has ran for president. "Women put up a serious campaign for president if they wanted to." Are you sure? Are you sure that women would even stand a chance? Why can't you name five women who have run for president? YOu can't name them because nobody takes them seriously. Because they disappear before they've even begun. Because sexism is too strong. Because people don't think that women are "qualified."

To be a Feminist means to believe that femininity is a strength, not a weakness.
Men should be able to agree with this. If you don't, you are a sexist pig. Come on, men in my life, let me hear you chant, "I am a feminist! I am a feminist!" Would you believe that even the men in my life, who love me very much, want to talk me out of being a feminist? I can't figure out why they think it is such a bad thing to be. If I am a masculinist why can't they be a feminist? It's not too difficult.

The chinese ideogram for "woman" is similar to "slave." It is a picture of a woman on her knees in a submissive position. I honor the nurturing abilities that women have, and being a mother myself I see the accuracy in this description. I am proud to serve those who I love, to be a "big mother" and meet the needs of those around me, to give with love, to sometimes put myself last. But to put men at one level, and women at another, is wrong. It creates disharmony. It is inaccurate. Language reflects belief. Men serve their families, their countries, their obligations just as women do-- so why isn't the ideogram for man "slave" as well? Because this world has a long history of wanting to place women in a position where everyone believes that women deserve abuse. The ultimate question is why don't we live in a world where the ideogram for woman is "hero?"