If I threw my guitar/ Out the window, so far down...


1. A Degree. Somehow--I don't know exactly how, and to be honest, I don't remember most of it-- somehow, I managed to complete my last four chapters of Biological Anthropology and Latin American history last night, and then wake up this morning to take two final exams, back-to-back, after getting four hours of sleep. And then BOOM! CRASH! SMACK! (the sound of fireworks) I'm done. With school. Forever.

No, really, I took the final exams today and then walked out of the Distance and Correspondence Education Office, climbed into my car, and drove away. It was as simple as that, and every bit as anti-climactic. I'm sad that I didn't get to ride the bus away from campus one last time. And in all the mayhem of struggling to survive this semester, I never called to get my cap and gown, so I won't be walking in the commencement ceromony. Will this mean that I will never commence? Whatever. I'm so totally commencing.

2. SURPRISE! My cousin and dear friend Mariah is graduating from a radiography program on Friday. We've been hectically planning a SURPRISE! graduation party for her. We've decided that we are going to surprise her at 7, but the plans she has made (who let her make plans?) sound even more fun than the party. She wants to get drinks and then go see a band called Undergrass Blueground, which describes itself as a funky blend of "hick hop." This I have got to see.

But to make things interesting at the party, I wrote a "graduation song" to play for Mariah. It goes like this:

So you've finally gone and graduated
It's been a long time that you've been waiting
and working,
yes you've been working hard, Mariah

You're gonna get yourself a new career
taking x-rays of everybody's gear
yes Mariah, you'll do a good job,
Mariah.

You'll find good news and bad news too
Don't you know we all depend on you,
Mariah, oh yes Mariah.

Chorus:
And if you need someone to hold your hand
at the doctor's office
Mariah, Mariah can
at the doctor's office.

And if you need someone to simply smile
at the doctor's office
Mariah, Mariah will
at the doctor's office.

So don't you worry, no don't despair
you'll be fine, so long as Mariah's there
Mariah, she does a good job.

And don't worry about no radiation
Mariah follows every regulation,
Mariah, oh yes Mariah.

She's gonna wear her blue scrubs to work
help heal them people whose bodies hurt
Oh Mariah, Mariah.


My vision is to get all 20 people or so who are there to sing along on the chorus parts, so she'll be serenaded by an entire choir. This will require me to call out one of those hokey "Everybody now!" phrases, but what the heck. Why not?