Bird

1) A bird is in my house--it's a little finchey looking thing. It gave me a terrific scare when I was contemplating the feces found on my dining table ("hmmm.... what is this? Disgusting. It looks very much like bird poop," I said to myself. "But it can't be bird poop. It must belong to a sneaky, indolent mouse. The nerve! What type of mouse poops right on the table, as if he's not afraid of humans! Ewww! He's just asking for it, I'll show him!"). Just then, the bird swooped over my head and crashed into the window. He made a terrible racket as he scuttled two and fro in a desperate, wild-eyed, terrified search for freedom. I watched him flit around my house for a while, and then, finally, I put a piece of bread in one of the baskets hanging from the ceiling, set out some water, and chased him into the laundry room where he ricocheted between the washing machine and the wall about fifty times before stunning himself into a stupor. Then, since it was dark, I turned on the porch light and opened the door. Maybe he'll head toward the light. If not, the cat, who snuck in through the open door, will soon take care of business. I don't know. I've done all I can do.

A few months ago, some similar birds visited my house. There was a nice spring breeze outside, and I left the front door open for a while. I remember watching them fly in, a pair of them. They may have been looking for nesting materials. I thought it was cute, but eventually decided that they needed to leave (afterall, they would only perish in my living room--not the best type of guests) so I tried to shoo them out. I succeeded in exhausting one of them, who darted into the pile of dishes in the kitchen sink and got bogged down by the misfortune of landing in a bowl full of sticky oatmeal. I was able to cup my hands around her and carry her outside. I even managed to wipe off some of the oatmeal. Her mate however, was not so easy. He hid under furniture until I gave up. I left the door open a lot that week, hoping he would get the point. The she-bird waited outside on my porch rail all day, looking, in my opinion, rather despondent.